Doing things God’s way

How and why did I chose this book to preach: Guidance is needed! We need guidance & inspiration to have Biblical relationships with Christ & a spouse. 

Why is Biblical Marriage important? Scripture defines Biblical Marriage as one man and one woman under one God.  THIS IS THE ONLY sanctified place of sexual intimacy for humans according to God’s revealed Word.  This is God’s ideal for humans.

Why is a Biblical relationship with Christ important? Love is under the sovereignty of God, just like everything else!  With this Scripture, God is showing us how to do it HIS way! The fierceness & strength of pure love is God’s ideal for our relationship with Him.

So it‘s about God’s ideal for marriage and His ideal for relating to Him. Understanding the Song’s literal meaning regarding the ideal marriage enables us to understand its allegorical implications. They are meant to work together pointing us to good theology and good doxology.

Why is it Scripture?

Song of Songs was included in the Hebrew Canon because it affirms the ‘radical monotheism’ of Judaism. This absolute exclusivity is expressed in Biblical marriage, one man & one woman under God, that is also seen in the writing of Isaiah, Ezekiel, Hosea, Jeremiah and Amos. New Testament wise, it matches Christ’s teaching of ‘The Wedding Feast of The Lamb’ and other such imagery.

Why it is needed? It is the ideal God has for us. There are lots of examples in scripture for of how marriage is done wrong & relationship with God done wrong. This is how it is supposed to be: Shalom. This ideal marriage is an earthly picture of the eternal reversal of the punishment of Eve in Genesis 3:16 (“your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you”), the woman in the Song declares, “I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me.” There is mutuality, honoring and ‘how God would have it’ about this love that places the lovers back into the Garden. God’s love redeems!

Our passage today deals with the longing and desire for the kind of love God designed for us.  It speaks of new beginnings and plans that will soon be brough to fruition. The growing of these two into one flesh in right relationship with God, the consuming love we are to share with Christ.


Song of Songs 2:8 – 3:11

(Bride) 8 The voice of the man I love! Here he comes, bounding over the mountains, skipping over the hills! 9 My darling is like a gazelle or young stag. There he is, standing outside our wall, looking in through the windows, peering in through the lattice.

  • Sound is an emotional trigger
  • The gazelle or stag symbolizes vitality and exuberance
  • He has come to where she is but doesn’t barge in 

(Bride) 10 My darling speaks; he is saying to me, Get up, my love! My beauty! Come away! 11 For you see that the winter has passed, the rain is finished and gone, 12 the flowers are appearing in the countryside, the time has come for birds to sing, and the cooing of doves can be heard in the land. 13 The fig trees are forming their unripe figs, and the grapevines in bloom give out their perfume. Get up, my love, my beauty! Come away!”

  • This is what she imagines she hears the groom say: Spring is Here!
  • The garden, the vineyard, the trees the birds all declare it!
  • Spring denotes the blooming of their love, headed to the apex: Marriage!
  • She receives an invitation into the fullness of the relationship

(Groom) 14 My dove, hiding in holes in the rock, in the secret recesses of the cliff, let me see your face and hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.

  • She is elusive, she is shy…
  • The groom acknowledges the humble posture of the bride
  • He asks her to reveal herself (The Ultimate Gentleman)
  • The groom waits for the bride to be intimate at her pace

(Bride) 15 Catch the foxes for us, yes, the little foxes! They are ruining the vineyards when our vineyards are in bloom!”

  • Little Foxes represent things that could damage their growing love   
  • ‘Little things’ if left unaddressed, can ruin the bloom of God ordained love 
  • Don’t let the little things go unaddressed! Key principal for all relationships!
  • Take preventative measures to protect this love from anything that could harm it.”
  • The bride asked the groom to do this. We ask Christ to do this
  • A proactive approach to dealing with issues is God’s way

Some examples of ‘little foxes’

Uncontrolled desire that drives a wedge of guilt and mistrust between the couple.

Mistrust and jealousy that strains or breaks the bond of love.

Selfishness and pride that refuses to acknowledge wrong and fault to one another.

An unforgiving attitude that will not accept an apology.

(Bride) 16 My darling is mine, and I am his, as he pastures his flock among the lilies. 17 Before the daytime breeze rises and the shadows flee, return, my love, like a stag or gazelle on the hills of Beter.

  • The exclusivity of belonging solely to the other
  • She considers herself the ‘flock’ of the groom
  • The place where he keeps her is sweet and lush
  • When He is not there she longs for His return

(Bride) 3:1 Night after night on my bed I looked for the man I love. I looked for him, but I did not find him. 2 I will get up now and roam the city, through the streets and the open places, I will look for the man I love.” I looked for him, but I did not find him.

  • This is a dream the bride has (previous sequence?)
  • She has dreamed of being His bride
  • Then she goes everywhere to find him

(Bride) 3 The guards roaming the city found me. Have you seen the man I love?” 4 Scarcely had I left them, when I found the man I love. I took hold of him and would not let him go until I had brought him to my mothers house, to the bedroom of the woman who conceived me.

  • Last place to check was with the guards: did he leave the city?
  • When she finally finds him she is fiercely possessive
  • She wants to take the groom to the beginning of her story and lay everything out
  • She is ready to become totally intimate with the groom… 

(Bride) 5 I warn you, daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and deer in the wilds, not to awaken or stir up love until it wants to arise!

  • The warning is like before: This God given gift must be handled with care
  • It must happen on God’s timetable, not ours
  • We must respect the power of what God wants for us, in marriage and in HIM!


6 Who is this, coming up from the desert like a column of smoke, perfumed with myrrh and frankincense, chosen from the merchants crushed spices? 7 It is Solomons litter, escorted by sixty valiant men chosen from Israels finest; 8 all of them wield the sword and are expert fighters; each one has his sword ready at his side to combat the terrors of night.

  • This is imagery of King Solomon representing God
  • God can appear unapproachable, guarded and unreachable
  • There is power against evil, it is His

9 King Solomon made himself a royal litter of wood from Lebanon. 10 He made its columns of silver, its roof of gold, its seat of purple cloth; its inside was lovingly inlaid by the daughters of Jerusalem. 11 Daughters of Zion, come out, and gaze upon King Solomon, wearing the crown with which his mother crowned him on his wedding day, his day of joy!

  • HE has placed himself in this spot, it is His rightful place
  • We do well to approach Him in awe and wonder, but approach we must
  • Tie in to the King’s wedding day and the joy of that. (Wedding feast of the Lamb?)


The ideal is needed to guide us: in Marriage and in our life with God.

There is a proper way to approach Marriage and to approach God.

Exclusivity is God’s ideal for marriage AND His relationship with us. 

God gives us an exciting vision, but we must cooperate with Him to properly experience the fullness of what He desires for us in marriage and our walk with HIM.

We are called to be intentional in the addressing all relationship issues, with God and in Marriage.

Putting God in His proper place will enable everything else to be properly aligned.


Are you convinced this book is ‘God breathed’ and a guide for us in marriage and our relationship with Christ? Why or why not?

How exclusive is your walk with Christ? How exclusive is your relationship with your spouse?

How can you look at your walk with Christ as a new beginning today?

What are the ‘Little Foxes’ you need to attend to in your marriage or in your walk with Jesus?

Summary of The Book:

A celebration of how the most important human relationship can be the greatest experience we ever have on earth, when done the God of the scriptures way.

It is also the story of Christ and His church. We don’t have to be ashamed to talk abut sexual intimacy within God’s holy plan for it.

Pt. 1: Song of Songs 1:1 – 2:8


1 The Ultimate Song, by Solomon.

  • Compilation of wedding songs / poems by Solomon
  • Two ways to read the book: Multi-Layered meaning of Scripture
  • #1. The description of the ideal union of two humans done God’s way
  • #1. The description of how we should be intimate in our relationship with God
  • We should be the Bride and Christ is our Groom!


2 Let him smother me with kisses from his mouth, for your love is better than wine. 3 Your anointing oils have a wonderful fragrance; your name is like anointing oil poured out. This is why young women love you. 4 “Take me with you. We will run together”. The king has brought me into his rooms.

  • The groom’s love is better than wine: intoxicating at different levels (spiritual)
  • Good smells were a luxury,
  • God’s idea of love & commitment between a man & a woman is enjoyable!


We will be glad and rejoice for you. We will praise your love more than wine.
How right it is for us to love you!

  • The community of God’s people affirm this God ordained relationship


5 I am dark tan but beautiful, you daughters of Jerusalem, like the tents of Kedar, like the curtains of Solomon. 6 Don’t stare at me because I’m dark; it’s the sun that tanned me. My mother’s sons were angry with me and made me look after the vineyards. But I haven’t cared for my own vineyard.

  • There is a humility that is part of the character of the Bride
  • She is not to be judged by appearances alone


7 Tell me, my love, where you pasture your flock, where you have them rest at noon; for why should I veil myself beside the flocks of your friends?

  • She is asking to be incorporated into every aspect of her beloved’s life
  • She want to be fully associated as HIS, she wants to be taken off the market


8 If you do not know, you most beautiful of women, then follow the footprints of the flock and let your kids graze by the shepherds’ tents.

  • They are telling her she could know if she would follow the right guidance
  • Some of being brought to union by God involves letting it happen organically


9 My love, I compare you with my mare, pulling one of Pharaoh’s chariots —10 your cheeks are lovely with ornaments, your neck with its strings of beads; 11 we will make you ornaments of gold, studded with silver.

  • This is an expression of how the groom wants to show his bride off
  • These ornaments highlight her natural beauty, but they don’t overshadow it
  • She deserves nice things but she doesn’t need them to be his desire


12 As the king reclines at table, my nard gives forth its perfume: 13 to me the man I love is a sachet of myrrh lodged between my breasts; 14 to me the man I love is a spray of henna flowers in the vineyards of En Gedi.

  • When the groom is in his place the bride will naturally attract him
  • To the bride the groom is a secure pleasure, an ever present source of delight
  • A great spot at a great location


15 Look at you, my love! How beautiful you are! Your eyes are doves!

  • Doves used as items of sacrifice
  • The affection is genuine


16 — Look at you! So handsome, so pleasing, my darling! Our bed is the greenery; 17 cedars are the beams of our houses, cypresses the rafters.

  • The bride is enthralled with the groom because he is HER darling (exclusive)
  • The location of their intimacy is all creation! (not just sexually in a bed)


2:1 I am but a rose from the Sharon, just a lily in the valleys.

  • Another expression of humility by the bride
  • She is saying she is not anything special but an ordinary, common flower


2 Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the other women.

  • In comparison to others the groom views his bride as a breed unto herself!
  • There is no comparison in his eyes


3 Like an apple tree among the other trees in the forest is my darling among the other men. I love to sit in his shadow; his fruit is sweet to my taste. 4 He brings me to the banquet hall; his banner over me is love.

  • The apple is the most valuable of trees: vary hardy, long producing, & beautiful
  • Security is found in the groom’s covering,
  • The bride wants to be overshadowed by the groom
  • His natural gift to is enjoyable to HER
  • It’s a place of celebration & honor: public display of the grooms affection
  • His banner is who He is and what He believers about her

5 Sustain me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am sick with love. 6 I wish his left arm under my head, and his right arm around me. 7 I warn you, daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and deer in the wilds, not to awaken or stir up love until it wants to arise!

  • The groom at once flusters the bride and sustains her
  • For the bride to be sick with love is to be overcome, but the groom is the cure
  • The embrace of the groom is almost too much for her t handle
  • God wants the fullness of intimacy to be an overwhelming experience
  • But it is only to be experienced in the way HE has sanctioned
  • The warning is that to get the full experience you need to do it God’s way!


The experience of God ordained marriage goes beyond natural pleasures. A Biblical relationship with Christ is supernatural.

The Bride is drawn to the Groom as the Biblical Church is drawn to Christ!

The Bride is humble & focused on others. Christ’s Bride exists only through humility

The Groom is proud of His Bride and brings Her into every dimension of His life. Christ wants us to share every aspect of Himself with us.

The exclusivity of the marriage relationship provides ‘secure pleasures.’ Only ‘In Christ’ can we experience ‘peaceful Joy’.

There is a proper time for love between a man and a woman to be expressed in sexual intimacy: The union of Biblical marriage. The terms of our surrender to Christ’s Lordship are His to dictate.


Why do you believe (or not believe) that sexual intimacy should only occur between a man and a woman in the relationship of Biblical marriage?

How do you see yourself as Christ’s Bride? How do you act as Christ’s Bride?

Married Couples: what ‘secure pleasures’ can you provide for your spouse?

Not yet Married: how will invite your future spouse into every part of your life?

How can you live more like Jesus Christ is proud of you and wants to show you off?

Biblical Christianity

True biblical conversion to Christianity comes only through the giving up of your life to Jesus Christ, making Him Your Lord. Our discipleship should be characterized by the laying down of our life, just as our salvation is:

Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it.” ~ Jesus The Christ @ Mark 8:34b & 35

Lordship Salvation creates Lordship Discipleship. Lordship Discipleship results from Lordship Salvation. Lordship Discipleship is the Biblical Model and mode for all Christians.

But were does the motivation come from? Should we change a lot? Should we see things differently than we did before Christ? How does our discipleship fit into God’s plan for us to be part of a church body? How do we figure out what our role is in the church body? What should the life of a ‘Lordship Disciple’ look like?

Today’s passage gives a clear & complete vision of what I call ‘Lordship Discipleship’. It answers all the questions I just asked.

Romans 12:1-16

1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.

  • Brothers and Sisters who have received God’s mercy means: ‘Saved People’
  • What might be considered a proper view of God’s mercy?
  • We should be awed, amazed, remorseful, grateful, repentant & convicted!
  • Understanding what God has done for us will compel us to to lay down our life
  • ‘Being’ A living sacrifice is a continuous process
  • A living sacrifice can crawl off the alter…but will always crawl back on.
  • A Proper / Reasonable response to God’s mercy is surrender
  • This is the only ‘True’ response, the only response that pleases God

Lordship Disciples respond to God’s mercy by laying down their life!

2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

  • Conforming to the pattern of this world involves where you place your treasure
  • What you conform to is what you value, it is what you put your trust in
  • The pattern of this world is NOT the pattern of God’s ways!
  • The pattern of this world is mostly dictated by Satan and human sin
  • Prior to Christ entering our lives we’re all conformed to the pattern of this world
  • You cannot be who God wants you to be and still value this world’s views
  • You cannot be a True follower of Christ and not change how you think
  • You must ‘Change Your Mind’ about a lot of things
  • Our brain is capable of being renewed, the physiology exists (God designed)
  • Lordship Discipleship is a process of mental & emotional transformation
  • It is through that transformation that you begin to see things from God’s view
  • Only through that transformation (Led by The HS) that you see God’s viewpoint
  • You have to learn & know God’s will to recognize it in your life. (Counterfeit Money)

Lordship Disciples are changed by God’s Will & Word so they know His will!

3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.

  • God placed Paul in the position to bring this hard truth to us:
  • Be honest with yourself, especially beware of overrating yourself
  • Use realistic judgement (we need others for this)
  • Be realistic about how you are, where God brought you from & where you are
  • Don’t work from who you would like to be or hope to be, but from who you really are
  • Knowing more about who God is helps us know who we are

Lordship Disciples are real with themselves & God!

4 For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5 so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.

  • We are not all meant to play the same role, we are pieces of God’s puzzle
  • The picture is only complete when every piece is in it’s proper place
  • We can’t complete the picture unless all of us do our part / play our role
  • In doing this we become interdependent, we all need each other
  • Because we all belong to Christ, we all belong to each other
  • Belonging to each other involves sacrifice (good thing we’re learning to do that)

Lordship Disciples live for the good of the Body of Christ, not their desires!

6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; 7 if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; 8 if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

  • We have various talents, expressed at different levels, based on God’s work in us
  • If you are meant to speak from God’s viewpoint, do it based on HIS work in you
  • If you are gifted to serve, don’t try to be a prophet or a teacher (avoid seeking attention)
  • If you can teach, do it! Don’t try to do something else
  • If you are good at encouraging people become more intentional about it
  • If you have means to give then you must realize that is a gift to be shared
  • If called to lead take it really seriously, a lot is at stake (judged & rewarded)
  • If you can show others mercy be happy you get to be the ‘hand of God’

Lordship Disciples are good stewards of the gifts Christ gives them!

9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

  • All of these things are expressions of conformity to God’s ways, not the world’s
  • Sincere love is unconditional love. Sincere love doesn’t need reciprocation
  • Tolerance of evil is NOT hating evil. It’s not wrong to hate what God hates
  • You can’t cling to what is good and what is evil at the same time (One Master)
  • Focusing on others takes God’s grace, the opposite of the pattern of this world
  • Honoring others above yourself takes HS transformation / a renewed mind
  • No place for apathy regarding God in the life of a Lordship Disciple
  • A Lordship Disciple’s life is marked by joy, hope, patience, faithfulness & prayer
  • A Lordship Disciple’s life is marked by sharing what you have with the Church
  • At Lordship Disciple’s life is marked by a spirit of hosting & welcoming others

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

  • True Disciples of Christ don’t play tit for tat…we don’t have to return fire
  • Lordship Disciples are emotionally invested in the lives of others
  • Lordship Disciples seek harmony in their interactions (not possible with evil)
  • Lordship Disciples are humble and gracious to the marginalized
  • Lordship Disciples are not full of themselves: They are full of God’s Spirit

Lordship Disciples live out the life that Christ has given them as their Lord!


The impact of receiving God’s mercy drives a desire to lay down our lives for Christ.

Christ’s Disciples live a transformed sacrificial life, rejecting this world, so we can truly know God.

Honest self assessment is crucial to learning and living our our role in the body.

In living our lives for Christ, our lifestyle will display God’s ways of doing things.


Do you agree that Lordship Salvation / Lordship Discipleship is the Biblical model?

How would you describe your need for God’s mercy and your response to it?

How do you think differently about things since surrendering your life to Christ?

How honest are you with yourself and with God? How can you be more honest?

How are you specifically using what Christ has given you to live under His Lordship?