Biblical Marriage Roles

Peter’s Audience: I am writing to God’s chosen people who are living as foreigners in the provinces of Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia. God the Father knew you and chose you long ago, and his Spirit has made you holy. As a result, you have obeyed him and have been cleansed by the blood of Jesus Christ. ~ 1st Peter 1:1-&2

God used Peter to shepherd His people, through this letter… (‘feed my Lambs’). In the previous chapter we are given the motivation for the lifestyle we are called to.

Start of the previous passage: 13 For the Lord’s sake… Why we embrace spiritual & relational transformation. The end of the passage speaks of where we are: 25 Once you were like sheep who wandered away. But now you have turned to your Shepherd, the Guardian of your souls. Today we look at relational roles that are different for men and women in Christian Marriage as well as relational guidance for all of us; married, single, male & female.

This Scripture is for all who have surrendered their life to Jesus The Christ.

3:1-12 NLT

1 In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. 2 They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives.

  • Submission to authority based on God’s Sovereignty & Christ’s Sacrifice
  • Gen. 3:16 ‘You will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.’
  • Sin caused corruption of the relationship… In our fallen state this is the setup
  • Your obedience to ‘The Guardian of your soul’ is not based on your husband’s
  • Your life, not your words are to be your witness to your relationship with Christ
  • God wants you to join Him in the spiritual formation of your husband
  • Trusting that God is the authority you submit to, enacted through your husband

3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is SO precious to God.

  • This is to married women…
  • The command is: Do not focus on your physical appearance and adornments
  • Wives in the Body are to instead focus on what is ‘precious to God’
  • God wants you to have ‘Inner / Spiritual Beauty’
  • This kind of beauty is ultra low maintenance…unfading!
  • This kind of beauty is not flashy but rather shown in a gentle & quite spirit
  • This is how ‘Wives’ are to be…because women are different than men!
  • So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them. ~ Gen 1:27 NIV

5 This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands. 6 For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.

  • God points us to an examples of Godly wives from His Word
  • What made these women ‘holy women’ is they put their trust in God first!
  • They knew God was in control so they accepted HIS authority structure Gen 3:16
  • This guides female members of Christ’s Body as to your role in marriage
  • You are spiritual descendants of Sara, submitting to your husband…Why?
  • If you know God controls your husband, then you trust HIM not your spouse
  • It is a hard place to be as a wife when your husband is not following Christ

7 In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

  • Married men in Christ’s Body… In the same way = 4 The Lord’s Sake
  • Give Honor… What Honors your Wife? What do you use as a standard?
  • Treat your wife as though she is pinnacle of God’s creation; because She Is!
  • Not physically as strong but your equal spiritually… at least!
  • Anything short of the treatment described here hinders your intimacy with God

8 Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.

  • Finally: To close out this appeal for relational health: ‘For The Lord’s Sake’
  • These are for men & women…everyone!

So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them. ~ Gen 1:27 NIV

  • Called to the same mind… what mind is that? What should our worldview be?
  • How are we to come to this ‘one mind’???

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. ~ Romans 12:2 NLT

  • From this God changed mind comes…Sympathy, Brotherly & Sisterly Love, A Tenderhearted & Humble attitude
  • As much as God made men & women different, He also gave us commonality
  • In Christ, we recognize our sameness and our uniqueness at the same time

9 Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and He will grant you His blessing.

  • We are made in God’s image, He never responds to evil with evil (cross)

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

  • When insulted, we are to respond with grace and a blessing.
  • God has this expectation of us
  • Living like this we have more intimacy with God; that is the blessing He grants you!

10 For the Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies. 11 Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it. 12 The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right, and his ears are open to their prayers. But the Lord turns his face against those who do evil.” [Psalm 34:12-16a]

  • The previous verse says: Come my children, listen to me and I will teach you to fear the Lord…
  • These are commands for God’s surrendered people (Israel / Body)
  • In this Psalm’s context ‘enjoy life and see many happy days = eternity
  • But the Lord will redeem those who serve him. No one who takes refuge in him will be condemned. ~ Psalm 34:2 NLT
  • Evil = Depraved & Corrupt…Speaking Evil = saying things that inflict destruction
  • Lies = words of fraud and deceit (deceit here is same word used in 2:1 & 2:22)
  • You have to turn away from evil before you can do good (can’t mix in a little bit)
  • We are called to go out of our way to be at peace within this Body (V. 8)
  • We are called to ‘keep the peace’ through strong relationships (being present)
  • The integrity of doing what God considers ‘right’ is protection & blessing
  • Truth, constructive words, peace seeking & keeping…they all enhance and deepen our relationship with God!! Real prayer life…
  • To ‘Do’ evil is practice and lifestyle, it involves the embrace of an activity
  • If we embrace evil, falsehood and conflict God cannot be related to us
  • The sin of any evil is enough to separate us from God forever (Turn His Face)

The Gospel of Jesus Christ is God’s solution! David wrote of the redemption of those who surrender their life to God. That redemption was won at the cross by our Lord Jesus Christ, God Incarnate! He was born supernaturally and lived in perfect obedience to God’s Word & Will. He laid down His life to buy us out of Hell! And He conquered Hell and sin, rising from death to eternal life… as those who are His will too, If we surrender our life to His Lordship He gives us eternal life! As a downpayment on eternity God puts His Holy Spirit in us! That is the only way we can live as this scripture calls us to live. Will be still mess up? Absolutely! Will we help each other be more obedient? By God’s Spirit within us, Absolutely!

Scripture Application:

Current and Future Christian Wives: Do you fully accept your husband’s biblical authority in your marriage? Partial Obedience = Disobedience

Current and Future Christian Husbands: Do you biblically honor your wife, treating her with understanding and as an equal partner in your marriage? Partial Obedience = Disobedience

Why doesn’t God’s word give the same commands and marital standards to wives as to husbands?

Rate yourself 1-10

How one-minded are you with this Body?

What are your actions of love and sympathy to members of this Body?

How tenderhearted are you?

How humble is your attitude?

What is the impact of your active discipleship on your relationships? ~ Don’t know? Maybe you should try ‘Active Discipleship’ and find out!